A Song, AN Addiction, And What They All Mean To Me

In this post I thought I would share something that I have rarely let others know.
I was and still am addicted to drugs, and the song I have chosen to reflect my personal memory is the song from K’s Choice, Not an Addict. I started doing drugs right after I turned 18 and was out on my own, in the world, as it were. This song reflects to me not only the struggles I dealt with in the past, but continue to deal on a regular basis. Part of the song where it says “deeper you stick it in your vein the deeper the thoughts there is no more pain” is very apt to me. While I never shot up, (I was afraid of needles). I smoked a wide variety of stuff and when I was high I felt like nothing could get to me. The pain in my life was gone and for me that was worth everything. Most people start using drugs because of hiding from pain. I used to tell people I was bored with life and that is why I was using. I lied to myself very well. I hid lots of pain with the drugs I used and this song really illustrates that fact. How they know how well they feel while they are on the drug and when they come down. The part of the song that goes” It’s over now, I’m cold, alone, I am just a person on my own” to me is what happens when you come down from the high and get back to reality and to me reality sucked majorly. I always thought that the pain would go away if I took enough or smoked enough. This song hits home to me in many ways. While this song came out in 1995, it still sits with me today. I have it on my mp3 player and I watch the video on you tube from time to time. Now I am 30 years and I have not touched a single thing since I was 22. But this song is always a reminder on how quick it can crash down on me and I could slip up at any time. We were asked to do a post about something we love be it a song or a movie. To me this song is not about something I love but a reminder of darker times and how I crawled through and came into the light, and why I will never look back into the darkness or let the pain overcome me.
You can see this video on youtube and I recommend you do either the euorpean or the american version will make you see things in a wnew way.

Oohoo (19x) Breath it in and breath it out and pass it on it's almost out We're so creative and so much more We're high above, but on the floor
Chorus1: It's not a habit, it's cool I feel alive If you don't have it your on the other side The deeper you stick it in your vein The deeper the thoughts there's no more pain I'm in heaven, I'm a god I'm everywhere, I feel so hot
Chorus2: It's not a habit, it's cool I feel alive If you don't have it your on the other side I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)
Oohoo
(8x) It's over now, I'm cold, alone I'm just a person on my own Nothing means a thing to me Oh, nothing means a thing to me
Chorus2 Free me, leave me Watch me as I'm going down Free me, see me Look at me I'm falling And I'm falling......... It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive I feel....... It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive Chorus2 I'm not an addict, I'm not an addict, I'm not an addict.

Heroes are not just for comic book geeks and nerds

Ok. Let’s take away all the fancy spandex and capes and gaudy outfits, that if worn by most people they would die from pneumonia in them. Let’s imagine that heroes wear ordinary clothing. Jeans, shirts, you get the idea. They can come from every walk of life. From a cheerleader who could be indestructible, but just wants to be normal and not thought of as a freak, to the Japanese salary man who is stuck in a dead end job at his father’s corporation, and has learned he can not only teleport but bend space and time to his whims. Brothers who come from opposite ends of the moral strata, one who has compassion and the other thinks of himself and how it a situation can better himself in his political career. An Indian doctor of genetics who has spent his entire life in his father’s shadow seeking approval and never finding validation of his own existence till the death of his father forces himself to not only reevaluate his own life, but what his father even did that made him be set to the side. All these heroes’ destinies could intertwine with each other and see what fate has in store for each one of them.
Let’s face it though just watching or reading about a hero is not enough. You have to give them a villain or three to throw in the mix. Let’s have one who wants more than anything to be special. Let’s say this man could find out what is wrong with anything and fix it. Sounds ok right? Now how about it drives him insane knowing there are more people that are as special as him. They too have powers, but his power works not only by fixing something but figuring out how their power works and using it for himself. He would do this by opening the skulls of people and taking their abilities for himself. Names himself after a watch, Calls himself Sylar. Or, how about an ultra-secretive organization that not only knows about these people but uses them to further their own causes and one of their best agents is the dad of the cheerleader whose family never knows what he actually does, we will call this, The Agency.
Sounds kind of cool huh? Well NBC has put on a show with this exact concept and called it Heroes. I can say this has to be one of the best shows on TV today not only because of people having powers, but because they are shown as people that have learned they have something deeper than their powers. It shows how these heroes and villains learned about having fortitude, lust for something more, but overall it shows the capacity of the human spirit to overcome insurmountable odds with the help of people that never knew they had something special inside them. NBC has taken this formula and has made it a very addictive show for me to watch. I am always on the edge of my seating going, WOW!! That was freaking awesome and saying holy crap look at that plot twist.
The two biggest complaints I have about this show is even though there is a recap at the beginning of each show, if you missed an episode it’s kind of easy to get lost from the storyline. The second complaint would have to be the reliance on time travel to be a hook to some parts of the storylines. Because something happened it can cause a butterfly effect to the future. While it can be cool, I do not want to see every time.

Overall I would highly recommend this show to everyone, even if you are not a fan of comics or superheroes. It has something for everyone and you can find yourself rooting for your favorite person whether it’s the cheerleader the Japanese salary man or even or even the villains. It has something for everyone and it shows the complexity of not only what people can do, either good or bad but how they justify their actions. Heroes has put the human back in superhuman and to me that makes it all worthwhile.