A Song, AN Addiction, And What They All Mean To Me

In this post I thought I would share something that I have rarely let others know.
I was and still am addicted to drugs, and the song I have chosen to reflect my personal memory is the song from K’s Choice, Not an Addict. I started doing drugs right after I turned 18 and was out on my own, in the world, as it were. This song reflects to me not only the struggles I dealt with in the past, but continue to deal on a regular basis. Part of the song where it says “deeper you stick it in your vein the deeper the thoughts there is no more pain” is very apt to me. While I never shot up, (I was afraid of needles). I smoked a wide variety of stuff and when I was high I felt like nothing could get to me. The pain in my life was gone and for me that was worth everything. Most people start using drugs because of hiding from pain. I used to tell people I was bored with life and that is why I was using. I lied to myself very well. I hid lots of pain with the drugs I used and this song really illustrates that fact. How they know how well they feel while they are on the drug and when they come down. The part of the song that goes” It’s over now, I’m cold, alone, I am just a person on my own” to me is what happens when you come down from the high and get back to reality and to me reality sucked majorly. I always thought that the pain would go away if I took enough or smoked enough. This song hits home to me in many ways. While this song came out in 1995, it still sits with me today. I have it on my mp3 player and I watch the video on you tube from time to time. Now I am 30 years and I have not touched a single thing since I was 22. But this song is always a reminder on how quick it can crash down on me and I could slip up at any time. We were asked to do a post about something we love be it a song or a movie. To me this song is not about something I love but a reminder of darker times and how I crawled through and came into the light, and why I will never look back into the darkness or let the pain overcome me.
You can see this video on youtube and I recommend you do either the euorpean or the american version will make you see things in a wnew way.

Oohoo (19x) Breath it in and breath it out and pass it on it's almost out We're so creative and so much more We're high above, but on the floor
Chorus1: It's not a habit, it's cool I feel alive If you don't have it your on the other side The deeper you stick it in your vein The deeper the thoughts there's no more pain I'm in heaven, I'm a god I'm everywhere, I feel so hot
Chorus2: It's not a habit, it's cool I feel alive If you don't have it your on the other side I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)
Oohoo
(8x) It's over now, I'm cold, alone I'm just a person on my own Nothing means a thing to me Oh, nothing means a thing to me
Chorus2 Free me, leave me Watch me as I'm going down Free me, see me Look at me I'm falling And I'm falling......... It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive I feel....... It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive Chorus2 I'm not an addict, I'm not an addict, I'm not an addict.